Health and the Holidays!!

A few of you may know already that I am pretty conscious about health and eating a healthy way. I have struggled to be healthy and maintain a certain way of living. It is truly hard to stay that route when growing up a certain way. But needless to say it is always on my mind and I get into a health style conversation at least once a day. I am grateful for the friends who are trained in the field that I can talk to. But I still want more, I want something different, I just never feel like I get what I am truly looking for.... and I think I may have found it.
I have recently been reading on a trainer/lifestyle coaches way of life, he promotes wholesome food diets and total organic foods. I have always struggled with the concept of organic because lets be real, it was introduced a few years back by east coast culture and out here we do not jive well with many of their antics. When we started to carry organic in Wal*Mart, I laughed because who would buy it, and no one bought it. It was the most expensive and tasted the same. But now I have a better understanding of how it works and why they do it. Of course I may have a little bit of the reasoning that processed and chemically fertilized foods will... kill ya!
This past week I ventured out to the pocatello co-op to see what they had. I liked what I seen, they have a lot of organic foods and they had the milk minus the bovine hormones that we all hate so much. Because those hormones get into our systems. So I have decided to start incorporating alot of his antics into my own diet. Which I have been doing mostly steamed veggies with some olive oil for some fat. I think I will buy some herbs and bake some chicken here in a day or so.
So those are my thoughts, but I think because it is the new year and its the biggest tradition to make the resolution that the new year is going to be the year you will loose all the weight you dont want anymore. I really doubt I will do that, I never do, LOL, I just enjoy the party I am at and hope to get home to sleep.
So what do you think about organic foods? Do you think the chemicals we use on our produce is bad or ok, just as long as we wash it?
It would be neat to hear some others views on this,I also am watching "thepeopleschemist" on youtube, you should check him out. I like his info he talks about.
Ok, well this kind of lost track, thats what happens at two in the morning.

Freaking snow! I love it!

This morning was awesome, waking up to about 6 inches of snow. I really like it, the part I dont like is that bengal creek does not have their guys plowing the place out, we have 3 or 4 cars stuck in the middle of the drive. Oh well, I am not going any place so I am not worried, just going to walk to the gym and that is it for me.
I checked grades, I am really annoyed, by today all grades should be posted. The policy on grades says that the instuctor has 36 hours after the time of the final to get them into the office. its well past that on the one class that I want to know the final grade. I guess I work in the best place to complain about those sorts of things.... because the people I deal are the ones who enforce alot of the policeis. GRrrrr. this is almost as bad as last spring when a few instructors didnt get grades in for a month. I think that should of been coaching and should show up on thier annual reviews.
I have all A's but I am not please that most of them did not even have A+ on thier sylabus as a possible grade. So if I do not get lower than an A- in that class I will have a great GPA for the semster, too bad I wont make the deans list. :(
It is almost Christmas time!!!

Road Trip Nation

What better is there to do then blog on a cold night after cleaning all day and having a class when no one else has class...... Yea, I think so too!
Today seems kind of sad, everyone is leaving me, I will be here in my little whole in Pocatello all alone while everyone goes back home for the holidays. But that is ok, I will get over it and it gives me a great chance to take a road trip!!!



View Larger Map


I have had lengthy conversations and decided after a few weeks I will head to the other side of the state to visit a bunch of people, it is going to be so cool!! I will head to Wendell to hang out with Tyler ( the little brother I never had), probably spend a few days there with his family, his brothers are so fun and outgoing... I think we mesh great too! Then I will be off to Mountain Home to visit the fam, thats right, go hit Mountain Home for a day or two and hang out with Robert and Linda with the kids and grandkids. Then go see a few kids in Boise that I have not seen since last summer, also I will call the Oregon peeps and see if they wanna hang out with me in Boise or just go to Nyssa to chill and meet thier families. I think it would be fun, they are all so much like me... the outgoing part is what I mean, ha.
I recently got asked to respond to a report of doing a 'road trip nation' taping, I have not replied to the lady yet. I think it would be really fun but I have not found a few people to go with me to make it an interesting road trip, I mean I got people who would be fun and enjoy it but they dont want to go. I guess I have not totally wore out all my avenues to do this.
last night we all went out before everyone left, played free laser tag, that was so much fun.

Finally more snow, but bad roads!

Tyler and I, he is the little brother I never had.

The Temple

Tyler and myself

me, Tyler, and Genniel

Tyler, me, Dustin

Saturday we headed to downtown SLC to see the lights and go visit some people from around the way that we knew. We headed to the gateway and window shopped, because we are all broke, then had dinner at Tucci's, then went and hung out on temple square with the lights. It was good, I liked it alot because there was so much going on, lots of christmas concerts.. then the Motab was doing the big christmas special so we was able to go watch in the overflow seating which was good. It was just a great night with the freinds. I thank the Lord for the good memories we made and the good times we have had together.

Hey Hey Hey

I have not written a good blog for a long time, well not since the days of myspace blogging. I cant sleep so I thought I would read, then I was reading some pretty interesting stuff and thought I still cant sleep so why not blog about it.
So here is a story that an old indian told of how Blackfoot became Blackfoot, the name that is, we all know it was once "Grov City" but then got changed.
The Pegan indians were enemies of the Bannock and Shoshone tribes. They came on the land to hunt, trap, and to get wahtever other gains they could. The Pegans came from Montana to the Gray's Lake country in the winter when the lake was frozen over. There were many tule (bulrushes) growing on the edges of the lake and someone had set fire to them. As the Pegans crossed the lake they left black foot prints in the snow. When the trappers saw these footprints they called the Pegan "Blackfeet" and the river, so the town was named Blackfoot, after the Blackfoot river.
This was a story that Ralph Dixey told, it is something that could have been passed down through story telling of the indians.
I havae a few other stories that were more orally told and not written down, this is a written story, and where it came from I do not know who got it from him. But I will pull some other out just because I really like some of the things the natives talked about. Their religion and such...
Well I guess that is all for now.

SNOW!!!

Well today I was setting in my office, high above the road and other buildings on campus. I have the perfect view from my dest also, I look out and see the moutains and some of the valley also, so today we were setting here listening to the radio play christmas music, and it started to snow. I have to say it was a wonderfull view!! It looked pretty good, now it has melted some but the moutains still are frosted with snow and every time I look out I see it. It is starting to feel like December to me, finally!!!

WOW! Gas is cheaper... Haven't paid these prices for a few years!!!

Tonight I finished up my run and decided I was bored still, so I would go fill my car up with gasoline. I drove to Fred Meyer's and got there, the stupid pump would not take my card, which was just of how my day has been going ( I seriously wake up on the wrong side of the day most of the time). I finally go to the attendant and he assists me so the machine would accept my card, dang it I know I am broke but I have got to have enough to cover gas for this fill up... I only fill up twice a month. So I only paid $1.769/gl so after filling up, which was only half a tank because I never go below.. just in case I have no money and have to drive some place, I like to play it safe. So I only paid $12.58 total, how nice is that?!????
Before I filled up my car, I decided to go run, I was going to go run earlier but got lazy and laid around the house watching the television and eating crap food. Seriously it was crap food, I chowed down a cup of whole wheat pasta, a muffin ( the entire muffin) granted I was full after the muffin, but did that stop me... No, I ate some pineapple and cottage cheese after that. Yea, so I think tht is why I had been grumpy. Well, it does not help that I showered and noticed my hair looks like crap, yea I am a freak about my hair, I really want to go back to that beatician who cut it, she knows how picky I am and told me she knew what she was doing, I am so glad I did not tip her! I am sure the ladys in the shop do not lik to see me walk in, I nit pick my hair really bad, and now because she did a bad job I have the little puffs on the sides of my head. My hair does its own thing so I have to get it cut a certain way. See pics below to see how I like it done.. the first pic demonstrates how it should be with out getting a cut for 2 weeks, the last pic shows how it should look after getting it cut!





Damn I'm fine!!
Well, enough of me, NOT.. this is all about me. But enough of the downer stuff, it is making me feel worse. Therefore I shall redirect my attention to something else...
So after reading Jenn's blog I thought about why think of the bad stuff, why not take some of my own medicine and count my blessings and be thanksfull for what I have, I have to admit it did take me a good hour run to clear my head of any bad and negative thoughts. But after dripping sweat and being out of breath I think I got a better grasp on the humility part. I did not run for a straight hour though... 30 minutes is the most I will go, I walked for 30 minutes tonight, but still my heart rate was good so I actually had sweat dripping... I love that feeling!!
I guess it is a neucance to me to have people think that I am over weight because I am lazy, a few of us had that conversation recently, I figure I can either tell people I work out all the time or I can be quiet and let them think that I am lazy and just set in front of a computer all day. Well, I guess for the peole I was talking with I choose the later. I figure they can think what they want and I can keep doing what I do to find what will work for me now. I swear my body keeps changing, what worked 2 years ago wont work now. I can run with someone 3 years younger and not break a sweat as to them, they are driping sweat... I just do not understand that part of it.
So I just burnt some brown rice, does anyone know how to messure out water and rice ratios for brown rice? I always run out of water, and then it is kind of crunchy, which I dont like.

Intermission...... Reno 911 is on!

Ok, well I do not feel like typing now, Reno 911 makes me lagh. I am now going to go play rockband 2, we got it and I am figureing out how to do it. I feel like such a weirdo because I am so dumb at these games.
Any help on the brown rice would be great. Thanks

Addiction!

Well, what can I say? I have an addiction that I am battling alone, it is so hard! No one knows how hard it really is to battle yourself on addiction. I wish I could say I was addicted to working out, but that is not the case, I believe I have gained about 100 pounds in the past year. This addiction is hard, I even had to go to head to Costco to get my hook up for my addiction, its pricey too. Its just out of control!

On a happier note, I am not crazily angry that Obama the Muslim got the vote, I am scared for dang sure. I am happy that all that crazy crap is over with. See, I would usually drop a little dirt bomb there, but I am cleaning that up very well.... speaking of dirt bombs-- last night in the hot tub we were chit chatting and being really loud when "G-Wagg" brought up "the runs" story. This is the funniest story ever!!! She was telling us her uncle calls it the "Hershey Squirts" is that not the funniest thing you have heard? I laughed so hard.... I have no idea why it humors me so much but it sure does! Her BFF thinks I need to meet her whole family because I guess I am just like them, in the way that I am loud, laugh at dumb things, and be really weird. Maybe another time I will, but for now no way... hahaha

I am feeding my addiction right now, sadly enough I should be going to bed but I am typing a blog and giving into addiction. Whats worse is I have drank almost 1.5gallons of water today!!! that is crazy! I do admit I am a firm believer in lots of water, but maybe that is too much-- I just barely, like serioulsy 15 minutes ago realized how much I have drank. That is only because I refilled my mug. I probably should of gulped down some tea...
oh well.. whatever, life rolls on

Politics

So voting is opened up and the big day is Tuesday November 4th, well I have lately talked to alot of people who discuss politics and people who are young that feel that if they vote for Obama that he will represent younger views. I don't generally argue with peoples personal views, for it is a personal stance and I respect them for their thoughts. I must say that I, in the last 6-12months, have noticed an overwhelming flow of information readily avaible to the U.S. citizens that demonstrate the ideology of Senator Obama, I despiese him as a runner for the highest office in America. He as a "citizen" does not show support, respect, and unity of our nation and what we truley stand for. The things I have read of him are things that most people I know who support him would not do so if they knew those things, but they are caught up in the thought process of trying to get "new ideas" into our politics and anit war propiganda. So they feel that Senator Obama is the right choice. I am not saying that McCain is the right choice either, we have five choices on the ballots this election, did you know that? I know most do not becuase they only follow main stream media and that is ussusally CNN or FOX news networks, and all you hear about is the two majority parties. So there is that, I do think that in the religious asspect that something is going on, just how the things are going with the economys or the world and our nation. I found a video and I think you may enjoy it if you follow politics at all.

Fun on Sunday

Here is a video of Sunday before conference, some friends cooked us dinner, then after that we were entertaining ourselves and here is a video of us blowing fire.
I am adding this info because a few of you said you had no idea what is happening..
so we had paper rolled up and lit one end of it, then we put powder sugar in our mouths and blow it on the paper, it causes an explosion, it is safe this way, unless you are diabetic. This video is of us trying to do it all at once, I am in the middle, then blow the very last little bit of sugar at the very end. It is funny because we are still so fascinated by it and we had been doing it for quite some time. we still were all into it for the longest time.

Music

I removed the music..... it got annoying! Cheers!

Eu gosto de acucar

So my bloggin skills have been really sucking lately, but I will give you a glimpse into my near future. I plan on getting some Mexican, I mean Hispanic, shoot I think its correct to say musica latino music on my blog. How fun will that be??? oh Yea, you know you will wanna get up and do a jig once you hear it.... get me some mariachi going too. So I know a few peeps who are getting married in the near future, I have been trying to do some persuatiion to do a fun wedding, sorry everyone- this is going to sound mean, but I think it rings true... most of our white weddings are boring and everyone just sets around and talks. I miss the weddings where everyone is crazy and has fun!! oh yea, so this is my idea, call everyone and set up a big old potluck style reception, then spike the punch with some hyper active ingredents, or just invite a few drinkers who like to get loose and dance ( or hire real dacers) so no one feels like they are the speciticals trying to dance, because we are creatures who feel comfortable following. So we have people out getting funky(as in dancing, not sexual) on the dance floor then you can kinda push the rest of them to go shake their junk or something just ot relax and have fun. Because the few receptions I have been to that people were forced to go dance that normally wont do it, they all end up very relaxed and having lots of fun by the end of the night. We are all up tight untill we feel like everyone else is relaxed and loosened up and we too can enjoy our time.... ok so that is how I am, I just assume everyone else is like that.
So, I have no flipping clue where that all come from, becase I was talking about music. Ok I must add this disclaimer.... I have had fun at all weddings, but I think it would just be neat to go to one that is not the normal one.. I know its our culture to do the normal wedding receptions... I used to say they were LDS weddings, but that was a mistake for me to say, becuase I have been to some really fun and loosended up weddings. At one the brides mother was out dancing and getting,jiggy she was such a fun lady, she still is. She thought I was so cute and always played with my cheeks... face cheeks. LOL
OK, well now I have opended myself up to critisim for this one... :)

Really! I am not racist

ok, like I just said I am not a racist, but this video that I have posted is so funny! I think the kid sounds like an asian, yes, its true. asians have a certain weirdness and the awfull language.. not ot mention bad driving skills. But watch this video, it is funny.

See, it made you bust a gut!!! So didn't that kid make you think of a asains accent.... just tink "how manyy dollA"..."I kid, I kid"... "I love you long time"
Oh shoot, I laughed hard....

Not so green thumb, but I do like green shirts!!!

I am setting in class right now, someone made a comment about a "borrowpit", of course the instructor laughs because in the first session of class he had commented that he would like us to use proper english and not Idaho"bonics".... so I have a question, "What the hell do you call a borrowpit if its not a borrowpit?
FYI, I am setting by the biggest "dramma mamma"!!! She dramatizes everything! hahahah, ok I am just kidding Kaci! She's a cool cat. But I know I can lean over and tell her that we are sitting hearing a lecture of things that are basic life things, like how we get too involved in anger and stuff, just a vauge description. Now we have a guy telling us how his mom taught him things that were not right, of course we know that we end up falling back to what we have been taught
So, I have a bunch of plants that Michelle is keeping from Grandmas house, so we have them in my appartment, as I have mentioned in previous blogs. I hope I can keep them alive, I was looking at them today and they kinda look sad, there is a winter cactus that just looks dead, so I have him sitting in window with direct sunlight.

We put Jesus here in hopes this little guy will make it!!! Pray for him plz!! He needs it!

See, he is very sick! I even gave it water!!!! Oh shoot, maybe I shouldnt of done that.

Well, There is Dustin's gold balls, and some green plants. One looks good the other looks kinda sad, but none the less, is healthy!

Here is a fern from Grandma's funeral, I think, but see the little white pot, yup, I actually made it start sprouting last spring, I put it in a cup of water and it sprouted, so I made Michelle plant it in a pot last week.


Now I leave you with a special treat!!!!!





ME!!!!

the spit patoon

Well, I have to admit, what I am about to say may be shocking to some of you in the LDS culture, but I think many do it but wont admit to it...
This morning I was eating my breakfast, it was full of potasium and fiber, yum yum!! and half way through it I realized that I was full, I actually credit yesterdays fast to this. Thats right, I have no fasted for quite some time and forgot how much it helps me in my wieght loss scheme, Sure it hurt yesterday, but isnt that what its about is taking one day and sacrificing eating and feeling the pain, and of course theres the spiritual side to it also. But a good side is that your stomach shrinks and when you eat you get full faster, I love it!! so today should be a good day to keep up with the eating something small every few hours. I know that is the only way I will drop pounds, but I need to, as you seen in the last post I am struggling on the work out side of it. yea, jenn, I can't even run the 1.4 miles with out struggling. How sad! But I do think breathing in the vog while in Hawaii put alot of crap in my lungs because they burn really bad and I start to cough up flem, I am not sick and have never smoked. Well when I was in Hawaii there was times the vog was so bad you would lay there at night feeling like you couldnt breath... one lady told me they have u give people inhalers for the vog. So I just hoe I can get it all worked out before being forced to run inside do to weather.
So last week I went to the races with Dustin and on the way home I thought I would see if there was anything left in Grandmas house that I needed to grab. Shell was home and she wanted me to take the rest of her plants, we had already brohgt 4 plants down to the appartment, so I told her we had room and can do that. So now our appartment is full of plants, it looks more like a home. What is more funnier, all the decorations is from me and thier are either pictures of temples that I like or pictures of Jesus. I told Dustin and Tyler both that I have other pictures but they are big and I dont want to explain to people why I have them and like them, some pics are just crazy pictures that most people look at and wonder why I have it. Most of them were given to me or origianl art, by me!
Needless to say we have plants along our living room window, oh yea, so Tylers girlfreind come down this weekend and she was telling us how they are looking atbuying a plant for thier place, i guess it is a big ordeal to find the "perfect" plant... She was telling us how we need to rearrange the plants too, but I don't understand that aspect of it. I figure they look good how they are, it does shock me everyone that comes over likes the plants...
So as im setting here typing i look over and notice that I have a bill that i got in the firstpart of august for my car insurance, hahahah, well i still hope i have car insurace.... well I think this is alot of typing
later taters

Crazy Trains!!! and Im the conducter!!

School has sprung! Its been great and busy! I don't really mind, I like it to be exact. This is the last day of the fair, until next year of course, all the Blackfoot folks will be all happy to go eat fair food and watch their favorite event that they have to go to every year. For me it is the horse races and indian relays. Today they had a great womans relay race, there were at least 8 racers, a few were riding traditional style and the rest had western saddles on. But it was a really good race, they were close most of the way and then one girl riding bareback was passin everyone at the clubhouse turn and won the race.
So I got called twice from a compnay that I had sent my resume to, I am very excited that they were willing to work around my school schedule in hopes that I would invest my time into thier compan, I just hope it is well worth it, it shoud be becuase they are one of the compnays that have the lowest turn over.... that has got to mean something, I am sure the work sucks but I have met a few of their workers and they are all happy people and seem to enjoy their jobs, so I think I am making a good choice to invest with them. So the guy that called the second time told me he would be glad to arrange something that would work for me so that I would work full time for them after I graduate, not bad, that first old hag though, she told me that they do nothing special for people that are going to school and hopefuly they will get me in a posiion wthat will work for me. But needless to say I stil want the job, maybe it is better than the jobs I applied for that are for the city. Plus I will make a lot more and work the same amount of hours, and I like this kind of work, it makes me feel accomplished.
Dang I am rambling on, I need to go buy a blender I have been craving smoothies and I need to freeze some bannanas so that I can use them to thicken up my smoothies, right now a blueberry and kale smoothie with 1/4 bananna blended sounds realy good...
So I think my diet in Hawaii has an impact, it seems that my running has mitigated since the last time I ran, my room mates, bless thier hearts, are pushing me to keep working out. In the past I was the one pushing them to go further and faster to burn more calories, but now I am the old fat man who sounds like a old fat man smoker trying to run, we ran 1.4 miles yesterday and I thought I was going to die!!! I hope to be up to 2 miles up hill by October, wish me luck!
Well this is a long blog and I am really tired of setting and need to go run for the day
Later

Relays and Races, how exciting!!!

To remind you all of this coming weeks event, I shall post a sweet video, taken by your truely!!! of my favorite thing to spend money on.
2007 EISF Indian Relay, 9-3-07

An update

Holy crap is school keeping me bus, but I did put together a slide show so you can see a few pics of my experience in hawaii for the summer.

Excitement and Anxiety

Today is the last day in Hawaii, its exciting to get back to what I had going on in Idaho but at the same time it will be hard to adjust to the time and not being able to go swim in a pool or the beach every morning.
This morning we got up early and watched the sun rise, I got some great pics of that. I did try to post them except the connection doesn't seem to be working well to upload photos. It was great so see, I will post a few pics once I get some wireless directly to my MAC.
I decided not to go to church today since I need to pack everything, so I will miss the fun aloha oye song.
I land in Idaho at 2:00 pm, this will be a crazy day, for sure!!! I have class that night on top of moving into a new place so I have a place to sleep. It is just so exciting.
that's it for this blog, nothing much to write about since I cant load pictures. Soon I shall write a long blog, my normal crap. LMFAO!!

Later

Hope it is all passed

Dear Blog Buddies ( as ross the intern would say in his annoying gay voice, none the less, funny on Leno!)

I am glad July is over and August is here! August is one of my more favorite times of the year because it means fall is coming, the gardens are almost ready to harvest, and from years past, it has been the funnest part of wal*Mart, fall in general. Wal*Mart would always get ready for the holidays and we would bring in new food and specialized foods just for the seasons, for some reason I really enjoyed that, that would be one reason I do miss the business. It was also because I worked with good people who had fun but worked hard, we had always accomplished so much, days went by so fast, it was so busy. I am excited right now!!! But those are days that are gone now. I now have other things to be excited for, I am moving back to Idaho in a new place, with new people, some I know some I don't know, and school starts up. I admit that I do enjoy going to school; at fall time I always feel like a little kid who is starting school for the first time, riding the school bus and meeting all these new people. So I guess I am in the same boat at Emily and Connor, LOL, speaking of those two, I forgot mom wanted me to go get little things to send to them because they like getting mail. I doubt they will understand it come from Hawaii but will be excited and happy to get mail, maybe it will be memorable to them. I guess it will be a little late but they will still get it.

I just think that I am starting from scratch pretty much, I will be like a kid learning to live on his own. I have to look for a job, start trying to build back my savings account while paying my bills and trying to keep sane with school work too. I am not in reality yet, but once Im there I am sure I wont be as excited because a year ago I had a huge savings, money coming in, did not have to live like a peasant, could go do things and not turn fun stuff down because I was broke. Well, that is one side, but I gotta keep reminding myself its just another bump on the road.

Once I get home and get all moved into the new place then the EISF will be here and I will have time to go spend my afternoons at the races! The family will be out and about during that time so it should be good times.

What a Day

Mein Tag Gut! Ja!!!!
A rainbow on way to Waikiki

So today actually started out with me in a bad mood, not feeling any desire to do anything or talk to anyone, but after getting the nudging by the spirit to make sure I did not miss Sunday school today was a true blessing!!! Lately I have been having a tough time keeping my thoughts positive or even wanting to be happy with people, when dealing with people will make me happy because I can get a little good energy and go with it, but it just has not been the case. So today I turned down the chance to hit the beach, which I am so glad with my choice. Some of the things discussed in church is what I really needed to hear. In sacrament meeting a couple gave their talks, they really were exciting to listen to, they both put out such great excitement while talking. They listed all the cool things they did with their kids to help keep them on track with religious teachings and enforce the culture. I just hope and pray that when I have kids that I will be that creative..... which reminded me of something else, somewhere today I heard something about all of our own talents we have and need to use, I don't actually recall if it was the same talk or not, but I thought about it allot today. I was thinking back when I was younger and how our parents taught us allot of what they knew, now I don't know if any of this will do me much good in my future but it is neat to know I have been taught these things!
As I thought on it, my parents were and still to this day hard workers, they always demonstrated hard work and a diligence to do good for others to get an honest pay for what you do. We of course got told to do our best and got the guilt trip if we ever turned anyone down to do some work for money or doing a half way job. But I thought more into it, what talents do I really have from my parents??? Well, here is what I could come up with- Mom, mom is very creative and good with kids, she loves to interact with kids, I think I have always been good with them and I do love playing with babies, I may not be as fun as she is of course, but that is not of importance to me right now. She also is crafty, she likes artistic sorts of things, how I relate to this... well, I love to draw, when I feel like drawing and painting I can come up with some really cool ideas, I enjoy doing weird crafty things too. I know she loves when people commented on her crafts, one being her ability to braid hair, which she showed Russel how to do. He took it to another venue, he can brain horse tail, mane, leather, rawhide, and other materials, I know he has made money doing this. I can not braid as good as him or Michelle. But I have braided before and I know I can do it if I want to. Russel and mom liked to do those things, they would work together learning how to braid special knots too. I know Michelle can braid hair too, I remember once a friend of mine had braided her own hair and it come loose or something so at work she was telling me, so I offered to re-braid it and make it tighter, I know she thought I was nuts, but we went to the back and I did it. We had to go where no one was, I didn't really want anyone to know I could do that. LOL. I can actually bead too.
Dad- aside the hard worker, he was good with kids too, but he is always cheery. He also taught us how to care for animals, although I have grandmas sense of no feeling for certain animals (mainly small dogs and damn cats, house animals that is), but learned alot about horses, me and shell may not demonstrate it, but we have the know how on those things. Like I said, I don't know where this will come in useful for me, but I am sure it will. There is more things that I could go on, but those are the ones that are popping into my head now.
So tonight I went with Brent's Family to some Magic Island, I have never heard of it before, but they had a small carnival going on, they had pig racing, I have never seen that before, it was pretty fun to watch!

Pig Races

Trapeze Artists

Shizz Nitt

I decided to write a blog because I am bored and do not feel like swimming right now. I thought I would throw up a few pictures of the things that I have done. We did go to the PCC, which I wrote about in a different blog. Then last week we went out and swam with sharks in the ocean...
We had to be to the other side of the island by 5:30am that morning, it was an early one too! We had to get up at 4:00am to be there on time, but once we got there it was a little bit chilly but once we got on the boat and headed out it did not feel that bad. How they do it, well they have about 8 people on board and a huge cage tied to the back of the boat. You go 3-4 miles off shore, we was going off the North shore-- Haliewa to be exact, once we get to the buoy to tie onto they drop the cage so we can crawl into it and then they release it. When I say release I don't mean we are out at sea stranded, we are a few feet away from the boat with a lead line still attached so we don't float away. The cage is a metal cage that has been spaced enough that sharks can no get in. Once we stopped the boat it was neat to see sharks coming to the surface, they say that the sharks are trained now to come when they hear the engine of the boat because back in the day when the crab boats threw back the crabs they didn't want, it was free food for the sharks. So when we park and set for a few minutes that sharks will come right to the surface. They did play the theme song from jaws, which was pretty funny!
So I was the first one in the cage, I was nervous! It was a freaky feeling putting my feet into water that I had no idea what was in there, but I stepped in the cage, by the way, the undercurrent was bad that day, it was windy and the boat was getting some rocking motion going on. Once in the water it was amazing to see the sharks in their own environment and swimming so close to us. I looked down and seen a shark below us, the color of his skin and the ocean mixed together gave the shark an ambiance of blue, it was really fascinating to just see it. Also seeing a shark from afar come swimming directly towards us was pretty amazing too, unfortunately at that time I got water in my snorkel so I had to go up to release the water. But just being down there and seeing it is an experience I do not regret! The pictures everyone took did not turn out, so we have no underwater pics from our own trip. Its sad, I know!!!

Early in the Morning, on the boat!

this is Oahu from the Ocean, the sun is still rising!

Another photo, this was looking at the Island

Statue at PCC

Canoe Festival at PCC

Stopped and waiting for sharks

questions/ memories

These 2 deals I got going on here are from a freinds blog, I figure I would post just for fun.

One word. That's all you can write as your answer. Can you do it? Not as easy as you might think. Change the answers to fit you and post! It's hard to only use one word answers!

1. Where is your cell phone? ....................Charging
2. Your significant other?....................... None
3. Your hair?....................................Short
4. Your mother? .................................Short
5. Your father?.................................. Bald
6. Your favorite thing?.......................... socializing
7. Your dream last night?........................none
8. Your favorite drink..........................pina colada

9. your dream/goal..........success

10. The room you're in?.......................... mine
11. Your ex?..................................... married
12. Your fear?................................... failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years........... succesfull
14. Where were you last night?................... home
15. What you're not?............................. happy
16. Muffins...................................... fat
17. One of your wish list items?................. healthier
18. Where you grew up?........................... lava
20. What are you wearing?........................ clothes
21. Your TV?..................................... none
22. Your pets?................................... outside!
23. Your computer? .............................. light
24. Your life?................................... confusing
25. Your mood?................................... grouchy
26. Missing someone?............................. always
27. Your car?.................................... camry
28. Something you're not wearing?................watch
29. Favorite Store?.............................. macy's
30. Your summer?................................. shot!
31. Like someone?................................ always
32. Your favorite color?......................... green
33. Last time you laughed........................ today
34. Last time you cried?......................... saturday

As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you

Shake ya tail featha's

Wow, today was kinda crazy! Its so weird, it is midnight and I am not one bit tired. That is just not my style, the reason is because we went to work but no sales so no installs, so therefore it was a waste of time but worth the effort because you never know what will come of it. Today we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC) and seen the canoe parade, Hawai'i village, ate at the luau, and watched a sweet performance by dancers from each village represented at PCC.
We got annual passes, so we will be going back for sure to see all of the other villages. Each village/island does a show of how their culture works and different things that they do. I have to say I like the best, from what I got to see, was during the canoe parade, the girls from Fiji.... they do all the hip shaking, and most of you know that is my big cup of tea!!! Along with belly dancing of course. LMAO! It was a really neat expereince to be a part of for sure, I have to admit that seeing all them hotties shaking their hips was fun, but seeing fit guys who work out just gave me more motivation to get in shape, I hate knowing how I look, and so seeing people who are in shape helps out allot. This is exciting too, this semester I can get back to a workout routine with people who like to work out alot, because they help motivate me to keep on track. Last semester was so bad, I could only work out with one girl who didn't have to try hard to loose weight so it made it frustrating at times to keep going.
I just thought about something that I am sad to miss, yes, I am going to end up missing the festival in Ft. Hall, darn, its one of my favorite things to do too. I really do think that ancient times natives from the main land and Hawaiians were some how connected, allot of the dances and movements and traditional styles reflect allot of the same-- I have noticed. The Shoshone festival is the first week of August, I think everyone that lives in S E Idaho should really go watch it. Its part of our culture so why not learn and know about it?
If you have never seen dancing native style then your crazy, they do it in grade schools to help teach history, but I do know one thing that many people have not seen is Indian Relay Races, where the stakes are high and so is the purse. It is so fun to watch and I am so shocked everytime I talk to someone who has lived and grew up in the area, and come to find out that they have never seen it or really know what it is. So go to the link above and watch my video of lasts years race, I think it was just a Tuesday race, and I will be there to all races during the EISF, so if you wanna watch some relays, call me and you can go with me.
I didn't even read through this blog so if it is really blotchy and random, deal with it.
Ciao

I seen a photo of myself! YIKES!!!

Darn, I have been doing good on the whole diet thing, I have not been eating a ton at a time. I wish I wish I could say that I have been eating healthy but that is not the case, sadly enough, I probably eat McDonald's more than I ever have in my life. Its so convenient, and who wants to cook in this nasty apartment that no one can clean up after themselves... Its so gross!! I did buy some fruit and veggies to eat, but once they were gone I decided they cost way to much right now and made me max my budget, so I go unhealthy and cheap! Although I am chowing down a can of Slimfast right now, it actually tastes good and fills me up!
Last night we went to the Hardrock cafe in Honolulu, it was very loud and they do some new salsa thing where salsa dancers come in and do competition or just dance, but everyone was all dressed up really nice. They did not start to come in until 10:00'ish pm, the music was pretty loud, but all in all it was good. I could not hear a word anyone was saying, since they had screens with pro dancers dancing, I enjoyed watching that. Oh yea, I ordered me a big fat salad, I do love myself some romain lettuce, so crispy and full of good stuff (fiber), on the side had 2 slices of garlic toast too. ok, well one kid who went showed me a photo he took with me in it, I did not like what I seen. I know its not what I want other people to see, so that just gave more incentive to keep on track. Like I said before, 10 pounds before school starts. That is more health reason than cosmetics, but eventually the cosmetic reason will be in the mix after 15 pounds, oh yea! WOOT! WOOT!
Ciao

Can't Sleep

Breaking the camels back!!!

To forewarn you, this blog is nothing fun nor friendly to read, it is full of sad time for me and its kind of my vent right now! Sad to say, but it is really hard to talk over the phone during this time when I could be setting with family right now.

Last Friday I got a call about Grandma, they found cancer that had spread inside of her, that's allot for someone in her condition, that is the reason they can not control her blood sugar levels.
We have had spouts of diabetic coma before, I do thank God that every time we ran into the problem that we was able to revive her. Tonight Shell called me and woke me up, so when she told me stuff it didn't really hit me, in the next few minutes I woke up and digested what she had told me... once it registered the emotions flowed!
All I know is that grandma is in coma right now, the family opted to let her go this time, this is a hard decision but I know its the best for her. It is time for her to go be with her family and Grandpa, she missed him so much. I just think how happy they will all be to reunite on the other side of the veil when they meet up again.
For me, this brings up lots of different emotions that I have had to deal with and try to put away during my time of caring for her, it really brings allot of things up that I wish would not come to mind, but yet, I feel as though there are things I feel so guilty about, one is something I think about allot. Was it the right choice to come out to Hawaii again??? Why I ask this is because 5 years ago when I stepped down and walked away from promotions in Utah to move back home, I had no real reason why I had done that. I now know why! But at that time I just couldn't answer why, when people would ask me about it. I know the reason being is that it gave me time with Grandpa, we would go visit Grandma and Grandpa everyday! So many cool things we did and learned about them that we never knew before. We would help them with little things, and they loved company from the grandkids so much!!! I am so thankful for that time! I still to this day remember so vividly so many things and the happiness on their faces when we would do things with them. That last time I seen grandpa he was laying in the hospital bed after getting very sick, all the family was there to visit him, and when we were leaving I remember telling him to get better and hurry up on it because we needed to take the horses up in the hills for a ride, but my 2 little cousins gave him hugs before leaving and for some reason that stuck out in my mind so much.... I actually regret not doing the same thing. The next time I seen him was after he had got home and passed away, I actually was the first one over there and fixed his body so it was not so crooked on the bed. I just wish I could of said goodbye to him, I know he knows my feelings and all, but I still have so much guilt from not giving him a hug,

Grandma really needed someone to just be there with her, she did not admit that but we all knew she hated to be alone and liked people to just be in the house, even if it was watching TV while she did her house work, it brought her so much joy. So we kind of just ended up living there to help her take care of the place, give her company, and just be there for anything. As time went on, we had to do allot of care giving for her, in the four years we lived with Grandma we had to deal with allot of stress and things we did not quite understand. Mainly the mental diseases she had, it was so strange because it was slowly coming on and the things we dealt with were so small and subtle. At times I did regret dealing with it, but I would always feel guilty for thinking that. Shell and I would talk when down and say things we didn't mean just out of frustration, yet we now can look back and see so much we could of done differently, as a matter of fact I feel very guilty for avoiding Grandma at times just because I could not deal with the things that were going on. It was not the Grandma I knew, it was someone else do to dementia, yet we did not know that, we could not understand why she would change so often, mentally.
It is a like caring for a child, they can be annoying if your around them and you need that break from them, yet if you leave they are helpless to a point. Sure they can find something to feed themselves, use the bathroom. But you know that you just cant let them be alone for too long. After 4 years of taking care of her, I have really weird emotions going on, this is a person that had taken so much time and effort, did ANYTHING possible to care for us, her grandkids, they would sacrifice so much for us, I some what feel good that I sacrificed 4 years of my life to help her, but now when I do look back I feel so much guilt because I think I could of done more, I did not put my whole hearted effort into it because I got caught up in my own selfishness. Why couldn't I do more then what I did? I know I cant sop her illnesses, but I know I could of been more understanding.. I just cant type it in words what I'm meaning.
This entire situation makes it hard to be this far away and not be able to say goodbye, give her one last hug, or just be there with her. I did go see her before I flew out, but she was asleep, I did talk to her for a minute, of course she did not respond, me and mom put some pictures in her room to make it feel more homey earlier that day. But its good to know that others say when they went to see her she was happy and very talkative. I do miss her company, it makes it hard because I grew so accustom to caring for someone and always looking after so many aspects of their lives, before going to bed checking on her every night, even assisting her in the middle of the night when she just couldn't help herself. When I think back on the last few months she was home, we were very blessed that the slightest noises woke us up to go help her out. One night I had the TV on and I fell asleep on the floor, but I awoke for some reason, then I got up to use the bathroom and just had the feeling to go check on her, I don't understand how it happened but that was the night she was in coma and we couldn't get her awake, it took EMS a long time to get her sugar back up. So this is the same thing that we are doing now, except they are going to let her go naturally, I heard that the last time they checked her vitals earlier yesterday, her blood was at 11. That is lethal number, you should always be 100 and up.
It makes me feel good to know that in that state she is in, she is not feeling pain, I honestly believe when God plans on use crossing over, that he takes it all way, so in my mind she is in a pain free state, which she may be spiritually already crossed over and her body is still functioning. God works in mysterious ways, I don't ever doubt those things, my sadness really comes from knowing I wont see her for a very long time, and its a build up of emotions with all the things that has gone on, guilt of not doing what I think I should had to show Grandma and Grandpa how much I loved them.

Just the saying goodbye for the last time is so hard to know that I could of just done that but I did not. I am not a hugger, I am not a person who likes to touch, but I really regret not giving just one last hug to those people that I hold so close to me. I know people think its just grandparents, but to me these were people who were another set of parents!

As I reread this, I guess this is my way of starting the mourning process, Grandma is not passed away, but I know I will get a call soon, and it is very sad to know that I will not be in the solace of my family, I really wish I was with them now, it is a comforting feeling to be able to be there with everyone to comfort each other, even a few shoulders to cry on, shoot, you don't feel so weird balling when everyone else is doing it. :) I know we all know that it will be happy day when she goes over and is met by her siblings and Grandpa.

This blog gives my emotions not justice, there is not way I could ever really put how it all works for me, I have had such a complex past few years, very few people really know the trials I have had to deal with and how I felt and feel now. So don't think this is everything, there is much explanation that would have to go on for you to really understand this blog. I know it seems confusing and just out of whack, that's because it is.
I guess I call someone to talk to, I really hate this, being alone out here and having no one to go talk to, the time difference makes it really hard too. It's 2:00am now, I got the call at 11pm, I am tired but can not sleep, I don't want to miss the call and chance to talk with family.

Chris equals Crazy

View of Kaneohe (both photos)

Today we headed to the Pali Lookout up the Pali Highway to the middle of the Island, The Nuuanu Pali Lookout ("Cool Height Cliff")overlooking the 985 foot cliffs of the Koolau Mountain Range. It was here in 1795 that King Kamehameha and his warriors defeated the O'ahu armies by sending them over these steep, forested cliffs and claiming his victory and uniting the Hawaiian Islands. The breathtaking sight and the gruesome history of the battle fought here is enough to cause a chill to run up your spine.
So I got some pics of myself and I do not like what I see, so I decided I need to get back on the train and be very stern with myself and my eating habits. I swear when I am out here I go crazy and eat all the time and eat lots of bad foods. So I vow to loose 10 pounds before school starts and I leave Hawaii!!! It will be done, if I say it, it means I will do it! I really need to get ahold of Dorese and figure out what the heck she done when she lost 12 pounds in a week, she was attempting the southbeach diet. If you read her blog, you will see how the 4th of July kicked her can.. LOL. Well, I am sure by now she is back on the train. I forgot my notebook that I log all my food in and times when I eat, because when I do that I see what I ate and how long it has been. So if I keep up an eating schedule where I can eat every 2 hours then I do drop pounds better and it is healthier because your only eatin small stuff. It is hard to eat good here because good food is so expensive.... so is bad food, but you can get more bad for better deals then the good food.
So Heidi got me hooked up with Costco's application process, I dont know if it will go far. I have the right credentials for the job but I dont have the right availbility for the business. School has me in class every night of the week except weekends of course. So in the grocery/bulk retail business that is a big red flag to them, because majority of business is done during the hours after 4:00pm. So pray for me that I can get something figured out, everything for school is going to put me in the nasty red zone!!! Me and Millie was talking about the red zone, how we both hate to be there, neither of us have worked since Feb. Savings are lasting a long time to make it to this point, but the plan was to make enough money to not have to worry about working lots of hours to live while school is in session. That was and still is the plan for me if I can get all my ducks in order and my poop on a scoop!

Sharks Cove

So here is a great video that I have been watching a lot in the recent weeks, it is a tribute to the military. It is an awesome video and pipe band!!!! I want this song played at my funeral when it comes!


Ciao!

Say My Name!

Its so late right now and I tried to sleep but just can't do it! I actually slept in until 10:00 this morning. I think it was because I had a lot of sugar recently and that crap makes me so tired!
I feel like blogging but have nothing fun or exciting to blog about, but I do have some crazy stories to tell. LOL
So I am in an appartment with kids who have never been away from thier parents, I am sure the longest was a week for some sort of church camp. So now they have all this freedom they have never had before. They do not know how to react to it, theres even a 16 year old who has never had a job, I wont even get into the stuff that kid needs to learn. I personally would of never had him come out unless his mommy was here with him. It is very evident that he has never had to take much responsibility in his life for much in his life and the apron strings are very attached as well.
So two of the guys like to do outlandish things that entertain themselves, one night they snuck into the pool after hours and went skinny dipping together and then got caught but was able to run from the property security. Everyday when they are suppose to be working they find each other to go get food, even if it means walking up to 3 miles. So last night they had purchased some Veet, I think that is what it is, and decided that they heard that it feels good to remove hair in certain areas, so they did it, Yup! They went back to pre-puberty days. That was pretty funny to come home and have them brag and be so proud of themselves for what they did. Now, a day later, they keep complaining of the itch it has caused. Last night they kept running around naked checking each others work out and discussing their anatomy, I do wonder about them some days, but I try to just pass it off as curiosity.
So while running around in their birth day suits they decided to take pics with a guitar to post on facebook. Just to clarify, they were not trying to take rated X photographs, they were trying to be artistic and pose with the guitar, I do admit they got some funny pictures out of the deal. Over all it was funny, yet still awkward because it was just them two and they do some pretty strange things together, even when others are around. The one guy everyone just expects craziness to come from him!!!
Being in Hawaii is good, I do think that it is hard for me because I have to put a lot of effort in making sure that I control my attitude and not be pushy or step on anyones toes. I like to take control and have A LOT of control in certain situations, I can be very assertive and aggressive also, I do miss being able to manage people now, I guess managing at Wal Mart gave me that and gave me a good deal of accomplishment because I could manage the business end along with the people end. But from being out here I can see all my little quirks that I just want to say or do something about but I know I shouldn't because its not my place nor do I feel confident that its the right thing for the particular situation I am in. I am not here to manage anyone or to take control, I am here for the learning experience. But I still want to just take control because I just see so much I would love to take control, for some reason I love to be in control. But to boast about myself I know I can make things happen and I can talk to someone to get what I want but it always benefits the business also, I had a kick ass track record at Wal Mart, every one of my departments were making big increases and not only in sales but bottom line profits, WOOT WOOT. I know Aimee is going to read this and go on about how I am such a control freak! She got to hear all about how I was so mean, especially to that nasty lazy girl I wanted to fire one time soooo bad, but could not because bad managers. She could not sweet talk me, I am all about bustin some balls and getting work done, she and many many others are about just being there and trying to make best life long friends. Really, where the heck is this blog going? I don't even know, it is so out of control, I know I need to think about things before I type them.
Auf Wiedersehen
That so reminds me of one my YouTube channels I watch, AricWinter, you should go check him out, he does vlogs in English and Duetch!

T-O-O-T! T-O-O-T!

Today is the end of a crappy day!
It was just not so hot, well ok it was hot. Just allot of work going on and stuff going on.
Today is my Birthday! just saying the reminds me of when we were little and Grandpa would video tape us on our birthday and make us say the same line, we all had to do it. Those were good times that are far in the past now.
So a few days ago I got asked what kind of cake I like, I wasn't even realizing why I was getting asked until Brent's kids started talking about birthdays. But I told Jenn I love Texas sheetcake with homemade frosting. So I wasn't thinking she would really do it, I mean come on, were only out here for a little while why go buy everything you need to make a cake out of scratch? Well that is my personal thoughts, low and behold, they went and got the stuff and made me a cake for tonight! How cool is that? It was so great, I loved the frosting especially, it was extra sugary and kinda grainy, I loved it! I could of ate the entire cake myself but I didn't because I know I don't need that stuff and I was being nice.
It was good times, I got stuff to make pina coladas, I plan on making them tomorrow since I was not able to do so tonight. That is all I have to say, this is a really sucky blog so far, I have not really opened up. You people who know me and have kept up with my blogs know this is a crazy boring blog for me. My mind is not really functioning correctly for me this summer. Once school is in session I will get back to myself. I think I am mentally exhausted all the time that I don't think about stupid stuff.
Ciao!

Finally, I feel at ease!!

Yea, so how do I start this one off? Well to start I am back in Hawaii again. I do love it here, its just so different, at one point I thought I could live here for longer, but as time has went on I know this is not my kinda my style of living. The traffic is so bad here and to be frank, the Asians drive me crazy some times!
Here is some cool news, as the night before my flight I was nervious to say the least, but I just could not shake the feeling.... So I didn't get much sleep that night, then I flew the rest of the day, yeah you set when your flying but it sure is tiresome. So I talked to Brent while waiting in Seattle. I have to admit he can calm me down and make me feel better if he is confident in what ever the case is. Well I talked to him for a while and felt excited about this entire thing. So I get here to Hawaii, it was pretty cool to fly over the island when it was dark! I hope to fly out when it is dark too because then it will be a quick flight, you ask why? Because I will sleep most of it!!! So back to my story, my freaking ADHD is getting me distracted. ok, so I get back to the story, well I get here and hear about all the drama that has been happening, I get took to the apartment and just feel uncomfortable so I slept the night at Brents, there was not such a good feeling in the air. I was so tired too! i slept so good that night at their place!!! Well, the next day some "meetings" were happening and some business got taken care of! So I come back to the old apartment and end up with my own freaking room, how sweet is that? many of you know that I get cranky when trying to sleep if I cant relax, and well there was no way I was going to relax with certain people around. Now their gone and it just feels so nice how the whole situation is working out. I do have to say that the room is a mess, I swear so much junk was on the floor, but I think I can manage to clean this up how I like it!!!
On a even happier note, I feel great, I think I am resettling pretty quick and feel good about what is going on. Plus, I like everyone around and no one has anything negative to say, so that helps allot!
Ciao!

Flights, no sleep, and too many hours alone!

So, I was very nervous the other day about this last trip I am taking, I really couldn't
shake a feeling of nervousness and discomfort. I had never felt like that before about flying, so I am setting here in the Seattle airport waiting my 6 hours before my final flight leaves, this is really boring and quite honestly, I am lonely, I usually don't get that way when I am traveling but I am today. I keep talking to random people that will sit down by me. The flight from Boise to Seattle I sat by a lovely lady who was fun to talk too, she is a pharmaceutical salesman that flies all over Montana, Wyoming, Idaho and Utah. she was very friendly and fun to talk too. So, I am setting in front of the big windows in the central terminal and it is so busy here. They have huge wall of windows you can set in front of and watch planes take off and land. I found where my departure terminal is at, and I have to take a train over to it because it is a stinking separate entity its almost as bad as LAX. I have to say that LAX only had "pay-for only"
internet. At least here I can get online and mess around. I am hoping that if I stay awake here that I will sleep the entire flight to the rock.
This blog is out of total boredom! I have nothing in my head because I have not gotten much sleep and I an only think about if this was the right choice. I sure do double think my own decisions allot! Oh well, its part of my life so I better figure out how to get used to dealing with it.
so there is a asain family setting next to me, and the little girl is singing little kid songs, it is cute an kinda funny! she keeps checking out macbook, her parents don't seem like they are in mood to socialize so I will not try..
I guess for now I shall power down and save some battery for when I want to get online again.

Thinking! Pondering! Blogging!

Today has been a day that I have been thinking allot. After coming home and getting asked to go back out I took them up on it, I had a ticket for the 4th of July to fly back to Hawaii. After a few messages I lost confidence in the ability to get home or even go anywhere for the 4th's festivities. I also really don't like the feeling of setting alone on a holiday which is one where you traditionally enjoy it with family and friends doing fun things and capping off your day watching fireworks. So I had decided that I don't want to experience that empty lonely feeling again so I called the airline to change my ticket to a different date. I thank God that it really worked and it did not cost me an arm and a leg. Well, I also thought that if they have only 2 vehicles in Hawaii and I land at 8:16pm, that doesn't give them much time to go do anything fun or enjoy their night while trying to accommodate me. I think it worked out much better for me and everyone else.
I did enjoy the 4th, I do wish I got a ticket for Saturday or Sunday, because now I have to wait an extra 5 days before getting out to Hawaii.
I do miss Hawaii, I really do miss going to the temple ground there. The temple in Laie is beautiful, but the grounds are so nice, very large, and just a nice place to go to spend time alone and really think and study your scriptures while enjoying the beauty around you. I have not yet been inside of the temple, but just being there makes me feel better. I really have been struggling with allot of things and just by going up there would just make me feel as though everything I have been doing was ok, that I had made the right choices for me.


Photo of the temple in Laie.













(Below)Check out this view from the temple over looking the grounds and you can sorta see the visitors center (left hand side), this is where they hold allot of events and show many different movies. Brent, Kevin and myself watched a Asian movie in there about their culture and how it is close to Christianity. The theater we were in had a waterfall and small creek running in front of the screen, it was so neat, it was cool and just so relaxing to just be in there.




So having so much time, I keep double thinking everything I am doing and wanting to do. I feel like I am not making the right decision, but I do not want to go back a hourly job. I need to go make the most of my summer by being productive and taking a step out of my comfort zone, I know this will be great for me and be good for the future. I think that we are put into situations for a reason, I think this reason for me is because it is preparing me for what I have to deal with in the future. As a matter of fact, I had been feeling really bad, just not happy or feeling exited about anything, I miss certain people and talking to certain people that always make me feel good when talking to them. Like I said before I had been thinking allot about what I am doing, but logical thinking tells me that I need to keep on with this regardless of how I feel. So last night I was reading the scriptures and then started to read an article in the July 2008 Ensign, "Waiting a little season", p.32, The story is going on about a girl who was steadfast in her life and always living the best she could in righteousness, she was not married and was not close to being married and said she did not question it but prayed one night for understanding. Then she says she was reading in the DC, and come across the story about Zions Camp and how they were protected as they marched, but as they come to their destination they were commanded to disassemble. She said she applied this her situation and this is what she said:

The Lord is not disregarding the miles I've traveled with His army but is purposefully building on those effort so that I can be a stronger defender in His kingdom. As I strive to be faithful, humble, and patient, I will know more perfectly my duty and the things He requires at my hands.

This story really hit me, I think that I have been doubting allot of my own decisions and things that I have done, when truly, I think I have been guided to do what I have done and accomplished the things that I have accomplished thus far in my life. I think so far I have learned a great deal in being humble, but I also think that due to my own abuse of agency that I may not be where I really want to be in life. I do know that through the power of repentance and the mercy of God that I can be where I want to be and where he wants me to be to be able to be the best that I can be.
I have to disclaim that repentance is such a personal thing and I know many religious people think that you have had to done something very very bad to repent, but I think that even when we feel proud, or think unhealthy things about others that we need to take the time and ask for forgiveness of those people we have wronged and God that he may help us be better and give us the strength to not do it again.
So, reading my Blessing, it does not give me any sort of specific insight as to what I do in my life and just lets me choose a career that I like. I often think about this, I think about my own attributes and what I know and what I like... what and where can I go with these things? I think I am shy, but people tell me that I am easy to talk to and I am a people person, yet after being around allot of people I feel tired and so exhausted. I know I have skills to manage people and enjoy the challenge of making a business work and finances work out also. I just ask myself allot, "Where do I go and what do I do?" I've yet to find something I can see myself doing for along time. I think this summer will open my eyes to a new world that I knew was there but never payed any attention too.
Well, I guess this is enough analyzing going on here, it actually is starting to sound uberly depressing!!!! So I shall stop now because I do not like that to be depressing, its just a point as to where I have to decided which direction I take the next step in my life.
I shall be gone.
Ciao!!!